Trying to live your live like nothing happened until you one day fall down on your knees and can't breath anymore. Realize that everything was a dream until you wake up and you see that it's real and you are trying to get throught every day from one. Hate that it happened when you at the same time love it and wonder how you could live before like you do it now. Your mind is totally blocked and you miss it so fucking much that it's a huge empty hole but the worst is that you just sit down and wait.